I didn't really realize that I am - for all purposes - a kid who has just been held back a grade. When I was in elementary school, there was a boy in the grade below me who was supposed to be in my grade. He had flaxy white hair, was too tall, and generally seemed "off" - I regarded him disdainfully.

And now I am him.

I forget that I am ahead, that the kids in my class are seventeen and are going away to college for the first time. I was seventeen one hundred years ago. My old bedroom is a guest room now, but I went through the Zach Braff "What does it mean to go home?" crisis a year ago.