When I got off the plane in Egypt a few years ago, my friends rushed up to me and said:

"We signed you up for a Turkish Bath - !"
"A red-haird 190 lb. Turkish woman with a lazy eye - !"
" - basically assaults you!"

Basically, you go in, and are stripped down by this woman, rubbed with oils and salts and other unidentifiable but extremely smelly pastes. Then you lie on a table and are rubbed down by a sandpaper mit. "Rubbed down" is misleading, because this woman is throwing her entire body into you. At the end, the table is covered with piles of your dead skin. Piles!

It's great.

At the time it was a little mortifying - I remember the underwear I was wearing, as I do other significant or traumatizing moments in my life. But now, in this new "winter" thing, I have never wanted a Turkish Bath more in my entire life. My entire body needs to be exfoliated.