At a friend's new apartment, he declares, "I have a real life now! I've got NetFlix. Check out that coffee table! It's an antique, dude." Walker sang a song in Spanish, and I talked to John outside over fake cigarettes and a beer about some things I can't remember.
Remember at the end of A Scanner Darkly where the author sends a shout out to all his friends that died, presumably from as the result of various addictions? There's like forty-five people he lists. How is it possible to closely know that many people, I thought, and then how it is possible that that many died? I feel like I understand more know. Overdoses, freak accidents, diseases. It is really easy to accidentally kill yourself. It sounds weird, but it's true. "Yeah it was weird," John said. "His curly hairs were still all over the sink, you know?"
Yesterday, watching a group of friends start to tell everyone the news, and organize a visit to the mother, and ‘who’s-going-to-pay-for-the-funeral’, and ‘remember-that-one-time-when..?’ it all seemed like a play, with predictable dialogue and poor actors.
The nineteen to twenty-something age gap is like that narrow strip of ocean where the Great Whites hang out, and the seals have to swim through it to get to the open sea. I grew up with animal facts; it has shaped my mental language about these sorts of things.
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Anyway, as we were on our way to a nine year old's birthday party at "Pump It!: The Inflateable Party Zone” Tracy tells me about how all the bees are dying, and humans have five years left before everyone starts dying, or something measly like that. So I guess it doesn’t matter. Today I tried to focus how it feels to have the sun shining on the bottoms of my feet.
Remember at the end of A Scanner Darkly where the author sends a shout out to all his friends that died, presumably from as the result of various addictions? There's like forty-five people he lists. How is it possible to closely know that many people, I thought, and then how it is possible that that many died? I feel like I understand more know. Overdoses, freak accidents, diseases. It is really easy to accidentally kill yourself. It sounds weird, but it's true. "Yeah it was weird," John said. "His curly hairs were still all over the sink, you know?"
Yesterday, watching a group of friends start to tell everyone the news, and organize a visit to the mother, and ‘who’s-going-to-pay-for-the-funeral’, and ‘remember-that-one-time-when..?’ it all seemed like a play, with predictable dialogue and poor actors.
The nineteen to twenty-something age gap is like that narrow strip of ocean where the Great Whites hang out, and the seals have to swim through it to get to the open sea. I grew up with animal facts; it has shaped my mental language about these sorts of things.
---
Anyway, as we were on our way to a nine year old's birthday party at "Pump It!: The Inflateable Party Zone” Tracy tells me about how all the bees are dying, and humans have five years left before everyone starts dying, or something measly like that. So I guess it doesn’t matter. Today I tried to focus how it feels to have the sun shining on the bottoms of my feet.
posted by taylor at 5:16 PM
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