I don't know how to explain this feeling - it's kind of regretful, it's kind of proud. Unsure, I guess. I kept waking up all throughout last night confused, coughing, feeling my sheets and trying to figure out why they were damp: I was having cold sweats! That has never happened before.

"I don't really know what I'm doing here. I didn't want to leave, John. I don't want to be here."
"You should have just told us you were in a car accident and stayed another week."
"I... I should have. Why didn't I think to do that." And I was instantly filled with regret.

Why do I always forget that I can tell everyone else, and school, and work, and whatever, a big 'fuck you.' Obviously they are not very important.

"Welcome to your Twenties," Lis said.

She also said, "I can't wait to laugh over the next love tragedy."



...Yup.



What would Smog have to say about this situation? I think he would say,
"I lay on the bed in the dark,
laughing at things I think of.
Getting off on the pornography of my past."