1.
HAY TAY,
CHIN UP, LIL MAMA!
LOVE TAY

I wrote out a list of everything that is going wrong lately - it was long. I'm t-pressed (my version of depressed). But in an attempt to keep it posi, here's some good things to focus on:

- I had good hugs (2).
- I read something beautiful and my chest tightened a bit. It was hopeful.
- I had good talks with friends ("oh yeah I have friends! and they like me usually!")
- good talk with my mama about real things. lots of laughing.
- at some point in my life i will probably be much more depressed than now. so i should be living this up while i can.
- at some point in my life i will be much happier, and i will think about this and laugh at myself for being lamezor
- you can't win 'em all. school can s my d. i'm trying my best here.
- speaking of which i've got like a month left, pretty much.
- i won a dollar in a bet concerning male lactation.
- i just downloaded a lot of albums i am excited about, for freeee
- lisa said i was the most eligible bachelorette (which, whoa, how weird does that word sound? bachelor. insane.) and while i don't know if that is actually true it was nice to hear
- mfa thesis show was good, thank god.
- saw nick and had a friendly chat
- saw vika. "hey can we all hang out and actually be friends again?" adorable.
- ted told me he had a present for me!
- i will be sleeping soon

so many more good things happened today than I realized.

2. One of my friends said to me, "I'm tired of having sex with girls I don't like." I like when people say intimate or embarrassing things plainly, like they are just another thing that exists in the world. Because they are. Why lie, you know? So: that is one inspiring thing to focus on and try to incorporate into my life. Why should a sentence like "I'm tired of having sex with girls I don't like" hold any more weight than "It's hot outside today"? They are the same. It feels good to give it away.

3. What Would Smog Say? (just for yuks):
Well it's rough, baby, to live
And it's hard, baby, to survive
Everyday lately,
my minds feels like glass
Ready to be smashed
I'm ready to be smashed

Sometimes I lock myself up in my room -
don't come over.
When I listen to a record -
I stare at the cover.
Don't come over.
Don't come over.