I was talking to John, who is lovesick and across the ocean, trying to cheer him up.


"It's like you told me in L.A.: 'I wish I could fuck you and make it better, but I can't.' "*

"That's wonderful. I'm so happy I said that. And you remember it.

"Best/worst thing to say to a distraught heartsick person."

"True."



Then, in true Office Blunder 1996 fashion, I wrote him a long e-mail full of colorful language and stories that did not paint me in a flattering light - old friends get all the true shit - and sent it to his entire family and coworkers. After pressing your face into your pillow and moaning for a bit, what can you do but laugh and move forward?

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I played all day, yesterday. Everyday should be like that.

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"Take your questions to a doctor. Think about what Judge Judy would do. And in the case of heartbreak listen to Mariah Carey. And as Rich says, always be honest. And that's it."






*No one ever thinks this story is funny, but I think it is hilarious! I guess you had to be there.