The past three days I have spent an enormous amount of time at school, packing an extra shirt, PB and J sandwich, blanket, toothbrush, and mascara with me (all you need). Sleeping in studio. And in that time at school almost all the conversation centered around how indie art is illegitimate, how lame it is to attempt to be cool and ironic, how I should stop trying to be trendy. blah blah blah blah blah.

Stomped home with heavy feet, completely defeated. Laid on my bed in the dark - Jen came in and pulled off my boots. We talked about what was bothering me and I cried.

I'm not self deprecating because I'm trying to be cool. I'm trying to be honest in an attempt to gain some sort of acceptance and connect with others in a genuine way. I am secure enough in what I make and what I want to do. But having to listen to shortsighted peers who don't even understand what "cool" is lecture me - I find this especially insulting. If you use the words "hip cafe", don't even start to accuse me of being a hipster. If you only draw the most boring, generic anime, don't talk to me about copping a cultural movement's style. It's like my mom trying to tell me what's "right now."




The sunrise is just over that hill,
the worst is over.

---

My new policy is to attend every event I am invited to on Facebook.
Tomorrow I'm...
- listening to a radio show
- going to a gallery opening in Pittsburgh
- seeing my friends play a show in Austin
- attending a birthday in St. Louis
- showing my face at a surprise party in Pittsburgh for two boys I have never met, and probably wouldn't like even if I did.


You're only ever as busy as you say you are. "Everyday is a business day when you're popular," Tom has said.