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The boys outside my window are talking about pooping.

Yesterday:
- Dealt with a screaming, sick Simon
- Ate 3/4s of the way through my sandwich only to find A WIGGLING WORM.
- Cleaned up some vomit (not my own)

...All before 12:30 pm!


Today:
- Cleaned up diarrhea (not my own), thrice!
- Almost had to clean up vomit afterwards (my own, thankfully avoided)
- Dealt with a complete, total, utter meltdown (not my own). Almost cried out of frustration.


I'm like..... stressed, y'all. And I always talk like B. Spears in my head. And I would like a bed with a headboard but it probably won't happen for at least ten years. Okay?

So, Ohio - really this one family compound - was really amazing. Randall and I slept in a treehouse.

I love things that have a sense of formality, even in informal settings. For instance, whiskey drinks with the parents takes place in the kitchen before shot gunning beers on the porch can commence. Maybe it's all in my head.




Oh, and the best thing I found my soon-to-be house? A prescription bottle for Percocet (dated '01) filled to the brim with marijuana seeds. The mystery continues.

Ohio was great.
I can't wait for the next three weeks to be over.
So sreepy.

Notes

Old bay in beer. Tree house. Parents making chocolate cake at eleven pm. Saying, i over-pammed it! This is american paradise.

Magnolia Electric Co. was a great show. "John Henry Split This Heart" brought the house down. And what a ham that Jason is, too.




My house is so hot, and I have nothing to eat. I'm constantly feeling like I'm going to throw up/pass out.

Amy and Susannah may move into the other half of my duplex, so we'd share a backyard. What are the chances.




There is a tiny clip of me in this video at 1:38. Schmoozing in action! Ben told me when I met him in the dark hallway at Gooski's, "Don't be creeped out by this.... but I know who you are because I've filmed you."

"...oh?"

A borrowed medication, three days of birth control at once, and week-old potato salad leftovers -- it was the perfect storm for vomiting all night, which is exactly what I did. Here's hoping I don't throw up at work or the Magnolia Electric Co. show, a good 12 hour block of time when combined.


Although barfing at the Warhol could be delightfully..... heavy.

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Thanks, Google Ads.

Blankie buddies.

Slowly, slowly, slowly - everything is coming together.
When I start to make a to-do list they just get longer and longer and longer, further and further into the future. There is no end.
So I've stopped making them.


I'm verging on vomiting. But still completing all my chores for the evening. I want my mommy.

I brought the dog to Sunday bocce at Randall's and she got to be a 'real' dog for the day - running around, getting belly rubs, eating pretzels, laying outside.

"That's a cute Jack Russell. I've seen a really ugly one."
"Which one?"
"Kayla's dog."
"IT'S THE SAME DOG."




And I swam in a POOL. So fun.

The neighbor Ray brought out Crown Royale and tiny cups and gave us all shots over the fence. As soon as he held up the bottle, Lisa and I watched everyone in the yard crowd him. It was exactly like when you are the only one with a cup of food at a petting zoo.



Bocce days always end early, but this time I made it to 10:30 pm, instead of 8:30 like last time.

I watched Vinnie get a tattoo with a safety pin in the kitchen. It was gruesome.

And I fell asleep in all my clothes, the first time that's happened in a long time.








Wild Bill shot off fireworks in the backyard right above our heads!

'heck i barely knew him'

Things on my mind:

1. Puppies puppies puppies. The Dobermans next door have 9 three-week-old puppies. I knew there were puppies over there. I want one. It's foolish, but then again, so am I. I feel like I am always saying this. Last night I sat on my neighbors' stoop - menthols and Iron City. We talked about like, home care for seniors and neighborhood gossipy stuff. Tom quit smoking through hypnosis for $60. He showed me the card in his wallet.

2. I really think I might get a dog. Jesus Christ.

3. There is never enough ranch.

4. The coffee table at last night's 'party.' Covered in whippets and Iron City and other amusing items.

5. Saw Pauly last night at the Thunderbird. We ate pierogies and fries and there was a Marlon Brando marathon on the tee vee. Perfect.

6. I didn't get to take a picture of the drawing I just sold, which is a shame. Pencil drawing of a Yorkie and a Maltese. This is what I do now, ya'll. Yes I am available for a Christmas present to your mom.

7. ...Mentioning that to Tom (who has the puppies), he told me he was an artist too, and brought out a pencil drawing he did of Gene Simmons when he was in high school. He blew dust off of it. Everyone has that one drawing, you know?

8. YouTube comments: "well i didnt know michale really well heck i barely knew him but i listened to his songs after he died but michales music is timeless i mean i use to make fun of him but now i dont michale jackson will never be forgotten by me or youtubers or the whole world Rip Michale Jackson"

"RIP micheal jackson, im srry the whole world made fun of u, in our hearts we still care"

6 months yesterday, y'all. where does da time go.

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Guys, CoverGirl Outlast Lipstain. GET IT. I never get excited about make up, but I've been all about lip stain recently, and these are cheap (buy 1 get 1 half off at CVS, just sayin'). And they look like markers. That you draw on your lips with. Win/win.

Kinda a psycho picture:

[around midnight last night]
Randall: Did you just put on lipstick?
Me: No. My lips are naturally berry red.
Randall: I think you should see a doctor then.

Sick punk: cutest thing ever. I walked in and Rando was laying on the couch, wearing a leather jacket (no shirt), shorts, and grandpa slippers, all wrapped up in a cat blanket. And he was eating giant freezie pops. Adorable.

"Oh, Queen Latifah's gay?"
"Yeah."
"I thought she was just fat."


omg.

Sometimes you gotta bawl to mama on the phone to feel better. That was this morning. This evening I am going to eat a greasy cheesy buffalo chicken wrap (SPAK, 'natch) and watch Kathy Griffin: My Life On The D-List season 4 on YouTube.

Good to go.


Tomorrow we rip up the carpet in my bedroom. D-Day.
I'm going to paint the stairway, I decided. It must be done.

I meant to post this forever ago. From the notes of the Drunkdriver record:

"Songs about god, family, and girls I used to fuck. I'd like to apologize to all of them, but the fact of the matter is, I'm not sure if I'm sorry. I wake up everyday because one of those three things. If you have nothing, you have nothing to lose. I have quite a lot and I think I'm being lied to. Thanks to everyone who's still here. To those who have disappeared: uppers, alcohol, and a steady dose of network television have helped me rid my mind of you completely. We are all better off." - Michael Berdan.

I forget why I was so intent on posting it before, but I found it at the bottom of my purse and wanted to get rid of it.



Liner notes to 'Medicine Fuck Dream' are better:

"Ashley grew up in League City, a suburb of Houston, and his dad worked for NASA. In the liner notes to the vinyl version of Medicine Fuck Dream, there's a photocopy of a concerned letter from his parents after his mother found out the title of his album. We are embarrassed that the word 'FUCK' is directly associated with Greg Ashley's name on the Internet. Millions can view the granddaddy of foul words in association with our name.'"

Got up at 7:30 (which was an indulgence, because I had already laid in bed for half an hour), feeling totally refreshed and awake. Ready for the day. Going to bed at 10:30 pm can do wonders for you, even if you maybe have to imbibe a strong cocktail or five to get there.

So I'm taking the dog out, I'm making tea, I'm getting a ton of shit done before work at noon, I totally got it.




Then I turned off the wrong burner and melted the teapot to the stove.

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THIS OLD HOUSE. the ugly wallpaper can't be removed since it's holding the plaster to the fucking lathe boards.

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You and I must make a pact;
we must bring salvation back.
Where there is love -
I'll be there.

I'll reach out my hand to you.
I'll have faith in all you do.
Just call my name, and I'll be there.

I'll be there to comfort you.
Build my world of dreams around you,
I'm so glad that I found you.
I'll be there with a love that's strong.
I'll be your strength, I'll keep holding on.

Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter.
Togetherness, well it's all I'm after.
Whenever you need me, I'll be there.

I'll be there to protect you, with an unselfish love that respects you.
Just call my name, and I'll be there.

If you should ever find someone new,
I know he better be good to you.
'Cause if he doesn't, I'll be there.

I've never been one to plan my future wedding, but if my first dance were to this song, I would be completely satisfied.

Not a conversation I was present for but hilarious regardless:

"Oh, no, I don't drink gas station coffee."
"We did cocaine all weekend, and you had chicken nuggets for breakfast. Come on."


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Downstairs = painted
Upstairs = all paint is purchased.

Is it inappro to wear an AA Deep-V to work with children? y/n

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Guys, Ralph Lauren makes metallic paint. Could I have a metallic lilac bedroom? Could I?