"I parted my hair in the middle. I look dumb. I feel like a butthead."
"You don't look that much different than usual, honestly."

I am going to eat a peanut butter and banana sandwich, and I am going to fry it the way Elvis did, and everything is fine.

-

I saw the most beautiful girl in the elevator today - long blonde hair, dark eyebrows, red lips. I want that.

Oh boy.

Don't remember when I went to sleep last night, but I got up at 3 pm today, and didn't leave bed until five, probably.
I threw up at breakfast/dinner. It's cool though, I'm a pro at it.

There's a once-a-month amateur wrestling match in Lawerenceville - it sounds so rowdy and yinzer, I must go. Met up with R. after it, and he was sleeping on the couch at a super loud bar. So you know it must be good.




I think:
I'm learning.
I can do it.

Went to a boring punk party, and didn't even get to see the birthday boy. None of those kids have any sense of humor - and what's more pathetic than a group of white kids sitting around discussing whether the term 'jimmies' (chocolate sprinkles) is racist. Especially when the people arguing can give no explanation why it's racist.

Ditched that, and ducked through little alleys and an abandoned school yard - the dome of that church (Paul would know its name) was huge and right next to us. Pittsburgh-beautiful. I'm always watching boys play games at Gooski's - this time it was ping pong. Walked to the Castle for afterhours through more little alleys I don't know the names of. Buttercup (I know) checked my ID and I was put on the guestlist as 'Tay'. We made it in right before the drag queens showed up - they were lookin' nice, Sharon's got some legs on her. "I might not be going home with you."

Spotted Reeves in the corner.

"Reeves hates me."
"Really? He spoke very highly of you. Let's go over there and make fun of him."

---

Slept through two alarms and made it to the baby's second birthday party an hour late, right as the cake and candles came out. It was a nice contrast to the night before - I was still wearing the previous evening's ensemble. Smoky smell and dirty teeth, old mascara. The weather was typical on the walk home - gray skies, dreary as fuck - but everything felt perfect in the Pittsburgh way.

---

OH, three important notes I almost forgot for today:
1. Walked the dog this evening and the skies cleared up and it was so so so beautiful outside. Late evening summer light. I can't wait.
2. Jen received a letter I sent on May 31st, 2008 to 1 Olympia at her school mailbox today. Insane. I can't wait to read it.
3. Last night was the first time I have ever, ever said "Stop. Don't even tell me anymore- I don't want to know." This is HUGE, people. However, it is definitely not becoming a habit.

actually,
4. "I do what I do and you do what you can about it." Wayne Carter, cheers to you. Genius.

Tom has bedbugs. We found out last night when we were all together - Spencer, Tom, Jen, Mary, Randy, and I, talking shit and telling secrets (kinda what I do all the time).

Mary and I visited our old friend Kelly, at her place. We always go to her place.

I was listening to Keith on the radio and sent him a text that said "on air shout out."

"Oh hold on I just got a text, let's see if it's a request... uh, ha, no."




A small disruption, still.

Age difference

"I've had 'I kissed a girl' stuck in my head all day."
"I remember that video. That chick was middle-aged and boring."
"We can't be talking about the same thing."
"Jill Sobule?"
"Katy Perry?"

It hit me today:

I want to be a Coach Taylor, but I'm more of a Buddy Garrity.




Really, that sums me up perfectly. It says it all.

---

I vaguely knew this boy this summer in Texas, but I'm friends with most people in the photographs. I've said it before but everyone in Texas is so goddamn beautiful. This is proof of that.

--

This picture was on the front page of the Pittsburgh Post Gazette today:


--

Oh, and a note to people complaining about the new Facebook:
1. You're complaining about Facebook, on Facebook. And about how you are using Facebook less, on Facebook.
2. Technology. It changes. Get over it.
3. Seriously, can you not figure it out?

And in conclusion:

4. Get real problems.

Gin & grapefruit at the gay bar - a lot of it - and I woke up in Mary's bed. I went to sleep wearing my full outfit, a turban on my head, and a baby blanket over my face.

Multimedia message

Unknowingly went to a gay bar with mary. But it's great, we get to sit on a couch and watch music videos. Lots of men in khakis.

I'm sitting at the local vegetarian diner to take advantage of the free wi-fi. It's the type of place with exceptionally bad service, but everyone puts up with it because it's cute inside and beautiful people go there.

Anyway.

Spent time with April and Mary at Kelly's (bar, not person. I don't have any friends named Kelly). They're so much fun.

I want to buy the rights to the phrase "the economy." Another genius idea.

I collaborated with Mary on a project I've been meaning to do for a long time and I think it turned out great; I want to do more.

The pictures are on her blog here.

I am so so so happy.
I wish I could tell you about last night: there was a spilled beer and a pool of blood involved.





Oh, and if it's been awhile since you've eaten actual meat and you kinda forget what it tastes like but think the substitutes taste pretty good, I got news: you're wrong, they suck.

In comparison, at least.

Ugh.

I'm living in the stone age. I'd give you the dates of that but I CAN'T GOOGLE.

Phone posts.

Not having tv or internet or a room mate makes it easier to get stuff done. Or it makes you much more social. On that note, off to meet friends.

"Did you sleep here last night?"
"No. I'm just wearing all the same clothes."
"Did you sleep in them, Tay?"
"...................just the shirt."

trying so hard to be posi

Then


Now


---
I wish there was a way (I will find one) to collect all the images that are captured right when you open Photobooth. You know, how it freezes for a second on whatever it sees before turning into a camera? Those pictures are always HEINOUS. I want to collaborate with a programmer who could help me with this.

I also want to talk to my phone company and get a list of all the words I have taught my cellphone over the years.

These ideas are intellectually copyrighted, by the way.

---
Tay, remember:

You like the dog. Sometimes you get along.
Even though she demolished the trash yesterday and walked all over your important, handmade envelope with muddy paws while being a complete brat on the walk today. And even though she never listens. And even though she is bad pretty much all the time.

I said some not-so-nice things to her immediately after the ruined application fiasco this morning (on the way to turn it in, no less) and I think someone behind me heard me. I felt bad. Then I felt stupid for feeling that I had to apologize for saying things to an animal that doesn't understand me. Then I had a flashback to an argument I had in Thailand over whether or not animals "really love" you. Then I was upset for the rest of the walk.

IN CONCLUSION: BE POSI.

I can't wait for the day I look back on this statement and laugh:
I'm actually looking forward to not going to school and to working all the time.

I'm applying for a lot of things right now. And I realized today it isn't a summer job, it's like.... a career. Full benefits. Weird.

---

Kevin told me the most amazing story:

"I had a story I wanted to tell that girl I've been hanging out with today, but then like, it totally left my mind after I told her that I caught my grandma giving some guy a blowjob once."
"WHAT."

"Stories about kids walking in on their parents having sex are pretty crazy... but this really takes it to a level I couldn't even have comprehended existed."

---

"I have great friends, and I hate almost all of them all the time."

Apparently yesterday was not St. Patty's Day. Who knows. Who cares.

I have been taking steps to achieve my desired silhouette - little tanks and shirts, high-waisted tulip skirts, and pony legs (always)/princess hair (for the time being, getting the itch to chop it all off. Waiting for major life moment. I still wanna be blonde). I want to look like a little elf. A little elf secretary.

"On a long enough time scale, the content for every blog drops to clothes."


Everyone hates me.



Backstage at the L'Oreal Brunette Collection commercial.

Kelly's with Mary, without mascara.

A tradition of mine.
Must talk to her about a collaborative idea. I think it could be great.

---

Apparently today is St. Patty's day. Who knew? Luckily I wore my kelly green Bass loafers, completely by coincidence.

Forgot to post yesterday, whatever.

Forgot I had work today. That's not a whatever - I feel badly, but I can't change it now.




Don't know how to return to real life.
Also, sleep schedules. I don't have one.

---

I did a handstand (spotted) for the first time in years, earlier today at approximately 3:30 am.

"Wow, your calves are huge when you're upside down."

It's nice to get boujy and drop $625 on dinner sometimes and then go shopping (yiiikes), but I'm ready to go home. "Ohhhh, you're old, you're old!" my mother crowed.

"When it's all stripped to the bone -
my life is at home."



I set up office today on the USC campus after conning my way into the computer lab and took business calls, filled out applications, and sent/answered e-mails. I dressed like a secretary for the occasion and ate both meals by myself. Nice.

Had a lovely Parisian day in Los Feliz, LA.

Woke up late. After noon late.
Bus ride to Los Feliz.
Eat at a bistro on the sidewalk: mussels, chevre chaud, ice tea, coffee, quiche. The menu was in French and I was surprised at how large my French vocabulary still is (when it comes to food, at least). The other beautiful people on the sidewalk were speaking french and smoking. Smoking!
Go shopping (leisurely), drop money we shouldn't have on fab stuff.
Hike up to the observatory (20 minutes), watched the sun set (yeah).
Last dinner with Travis.

Now Audrey and I are laying in his bed, watching wedding shows. It's how it should be.

LA is great because everyone seems slightly famous. Don't have enough time to think it through properly, but I had a lot of thoughts about it at a fancy dinner last night.

"This is the type of town where you never get to finish what you're saying," Audrey said.

Spent time with Charley, the Chihuahua gifted by Kirstie Alley.

Spent the night in Isla Vista. It's what the scene would be if the kids from Lord of the Flies grew up and developed severe alcoholism.

L.A.'s the best, no matter what I'm doing.

Randy was laughing about hanging out with jazz enthusiast PhD students. Last night I was in a bar with philosophy majors discussing God. But it was LA, so right behind us was a porn star and a bouncer handing off drugs in handshakes.

--

Oh yeah - the other day I woke up to, "Are you seriously going to start this?"

I had been punching Randy repeatedly in my sleep because I was dreaming he was tricking me and telling me he was pulling meal worms out of my vagina.

I'm having a rendezvous with Mary today in the airport - she's returning from NYC as I'm leaving for L.A.
What lil jet setters we are.

I see bloody mary's involved in this meeting. And probably potato skins. At my favorite in-transit bar - the TGIFriday's at gate 71D, please.


---

I'm so happy in a way I can't even explain.
WELL I GUESS THIS IS GROWING UP, right, Blink 182?

And nobody likes you when you're 23, so I'm living it up.

---
I always run away to L.A. at this time of year.

No matter how cruel I've been
LA, you always let me back in

So far (almost 48 hours in) 22 has been wonderful. Like, really amazing. I feel like this year will be a good one.

Dinner was made - spaghetti squash and salad and caramelized sweet potatoes and espresso and Mississippi Mud Pie. Randy, Dave, Emily, Jen, Tom, Audrey, Brian, Paul, and Jess came over. PBRs sitting outside on the window ledge to cool down. Really, it was so lovely and easy and fun and nothing but everything.

Everything is beautiful.

--

Jen and I competed in a "How well do you know your friend/room mate" competition tonight. We killed the first two rounds, but lost at the very end (my fault). We still got a prize.

MARCH FORTH, Y'ALL

Best day to be born!
So far things are going well. I hope they continue. Waiting on an important phone call. Ull.

Last night I was making pigs in a blanket and we waited for midnight like it was New Year's Eve.

Okay, Tay:
- Makemakemakemake nonstop
- Drawing Crit tuesday
- Final Senior Project Crit Wednesday
- Birthday/Birthday party Wednesday
- Three images/senior project statement due Thursday
- GET CHECKS TO THE FRAME
- Write March rent check, which is late already
- Send Frame write-up/title to Michelle
- Friday - get into L.A. at 9 pm, party with John all night until he leaves the next day at 8 am.

AWESOME.

This is all.

Late night studio playing with things that aren't ours.

Games N'At was so funny. So drunk, so early. I was in bed by 10:30 pm, flop-noodling my way there.

How pittsburgh is this:
It's an arcade, aimed at children, obviously (there were a handful of them running around) . It's also BYOB - we had a keg for 18 people. But the best part is that there is a smoking section. It's not separated from the rest of the arcade at all. So.... you're getting wasted and smoking your Marlboro Menthol Smooth 100s while watching your kids play pinball. John called me last night after I had put myself to bed and I tried to convey it (drunkenly/tiredly) to him:

"I'm sure there was probably a good point somewhere in that long and winding story, Taylor."

The point was that the arcade was completely taken over by wasted 20-something punk kids who were trying to fall on the children.

--

- Ms. Pacman
- Donkey Kong
- Various pinballs
- Shooter games
- ARTIC THUNDER ("It's the best game," Christina said. "You sit on it and it vibrates the whole time")
- Air hockey
- Basketball free throw game
- Trivia games

While eating my delicious, delicious hotdog (Two for $2.30!) Randy and I were playing Wordster. "I just feel like I have to be constantly playing games, 'cause I CAN."

While playing pinball, it occurred to me: these type of games really highlight my complete lack of hand-eye coordination in a very acute way.

Okay, Tay:
- Makemakemakemake nonstop
- Drawing Crit tuesday
- Final Senior Project Crit Wednesday
- Birthday/Birthday party Wednesday
- Three images/senior project statement due Thursday
- GET CHECKS TO THE FRAME
- Write March rent check, which is late already
- Send Frame write-up/title to Michelle
- Friday - get into L.A. at 11 pm, party with John all night until he leaves the next day at 9 am.

What a whirlwind.

Today I'm going to a company Christmas party as a 'plus one'. It's at the Pittsburgh version of Exhilirama or Dave and Buster's. Naturally it is called "Games N'At".